Bad days, do what you can.
Good days, do what you can.
It's been a tough couple of weeks. After the initial buzz, the doubts. New trainers, sore feet, old injuries threatening to resurface. Doing too much or doing too little? Ease back or push on.
A close cousin of professional doubt. Can I do this? Do I belong? Am I good enough? Am I enough? Will they like me, like what I do, rehire me? What if I say no and they find someone better and never ask me again? What if I say yes and mess it up?
Last night on my run I turned right instead of left. My choice. I ran a different route. My choice. I thought about the reason I'm doing this. That I can change the route and the time and the distance I run. I have the luxury of choice that those I'm running for do not. And just that change of direction, and the rain, and the run, helped clear my head. And I ran further than I planned.
The doubts are still there. They will always be there. And so is choice about how much and how I listen to them.
Bad days, do what you can. Good days, do what you can.